Why am I mad, you ask?
You told me that anything I prayed for I’d be blessed with.
But everything you gave me I was stressed with.
I get a new job, but not paid enough.
I get a new beginning but the first steps of it started off so tough.
I tell you to keep my grandma’s life in your hands.
But you took those same hands and took her life, so fast that I couldn’t understand.
You have me in all of this darkness when I asked you for light.
My whole life has gone left and I just can’t get anything right.
Until my phone rings and it’s my mama on the phone
She says she was reading her bible in her bed all alone
I spent about what felt like hours just telling her what was weighing in on my head
After hearing about my stress she stops me and says, “Baby didn’t I always tell you that faith without works is dead?”
“I know mama, but it’s so hard out here to keep working when I’ve got so much on my plate
So tell me how am I supposed to handle all of that AND keep my faith?”
She tells me to just keep pressing on and that I have to put my trust in Him
That if I keep that up, the chances of being affected by these other things would be very slim.
So a few months go by and things start to get better
I’m no longer being bogged down by all of these stressors
That job that wasn’t paying enough, gave me a raise and a promotion
Things I asked for early on start going into motion
Most of all, I realized that my grandma’s loss was actually a gain
See, for years she had been dealing with these things that had been causing her so much pain
I appreciate you for listening to this testament
I realize that talk with my mother and those prayers I sent up were just my anger management.
-JB the Poet
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